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INSIDE THE W.I. DRESSING ROOM: Part 7

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28 Sep 2015 12:33 - 28 Sep 2015 19:06 #272987 by TRINIDADDY


WICB director Dave Cameron sits down at a large desk. He is surrounded by Richard Pybus, coach Philip Simmons and chief selector Clive Lloyd.

CAMERON: Fellas, our tour of Sri Lanka starts in a few days. Historically, I like to start every tour with a new bit of incompetent management, but I think I starting to run out of ideas.

CLIVE LLOYD: Well, we could try walking out on the Sri Lankan tour.

CAMERON: Nah, that's not surprising enough. The fans want something fresh!

CLIVE LLOYD: We could fire a senior player from the tour without informing him in advance.

CAMERON: Nah, we already used that trick on Chanders and Gayle.

CLIVE LLOYD: We can promote an inexperienced player to captain and then fire seasoned players from the squads.

CAMERON: Again? People want surprises, not repetitions of our last English and South African tours!

CLIVE LLOYD: How about trying Dwayne Smith again?

CAMERON: Been there, done that.

CLIVE LLOYD: We can try selecting known incompetent bowlers like we did at the last World Cup.

CAMERON: Lloyd, stop being an idiot. The fans want surprises! They want new levels of incompetency! We can't keep doing the same old sh*t. We need new sh*t! Dammit man, we need new sh*t!

CLIVE LLOYD: Well, we can bring back Devon Smith-

CAMERON: New sh*t!

SIMMONS: Fellas, I been talking to Lloyd behind your backs, and we both think it's time to bring Bravo and Pollard back into the ODI team-

CAMERON: Those two idiots are banned from West Indies cricket!

SIMMONS: But you still have them on the T20 team.

CAMERON: T20 cricket ain't real cricket; that's the only place those two clowns belong.

SIMMONS: Give me one of them at least. The current ODI team has no batting experience .

CAMERON: Never!

SIMMONS: But I'm a Trini. I should have a larger say in player selection!

CAMERON: Kiss my ass, Trini-boy. I am DAVE CAMERON, SUPREME OVERLORD OF WEST INDIES CRICKET! YOU WILL OBEY ME!

SIMMONS: If I don't get my way I'll start whining to the media.

CAMERON: Go on, talk to them, I can't look any worse.

SIMMONS: You've forced my hand.

CAMERON: And you've forced mine; I'm firing your ass.

SIMMONS: Fine!

CAMERON: Fine!

LLOYD: Uh, fellas, we already owe India about 50 million dollars.

CAMERON: So?

LLOYD: So our coaching contracts stipulate that our coaches must nevertheless be paid if they are prematurely fired and/or suspended. We fired Otis Gibson several months ago and are still paying him thousands of dollars a month for work he is not doing for us. Do you know what this means?

PYBUS: That working as a West Indies cricket coach is one of the best gigs in the world!?

LLOYD: No. It means that if we fire Simmons, we will be the only cricket team in the history of the sport to simultaneously pay two cricket coaches not to turn up.

CAMERON: Lloyd my man, you are a genius!

LLOYD: Huh?

CAMERON: Simmons, you're fired. History books, here we come again.

LLOYD: God dammit Cameron.

CAMERON: Like a boss.

Last edit: 28 Sep 2015 19:06 by TRINIDADDY.

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28 Sep 2015 13:01 #272993 by TRINIDADDY
Jamaicans and Guyanese always persecuting poor Trinis:

www.westindiesforum.com/the-pitch/intern...uyanese-attac-97019/

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28 Sep 2015 13:30 #272996 by ketchim

hahahaha : That previous thread was attacking Lloyd : now we know it was NOT true.

Mapoui has prepared his Apology : co signed by the forum idiot , boquiesse  as well as the Pompous One  ::LOL::


Now that Simmons is quoted as Lloyd/Big Pussy/ Super Pussy asking back for dem 2 Wastes.....

BUT i would NOT hold my breath for these Claxton Bay commoners  :P

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28 Sep 2015 13:33 #272997 by ketchim

Not True : Simmons persecute himself !

right up there with Ramdin NOTE to Viv

Bits and Pieces WALK OFF the job in India prior to the TEST matches.

Dave Mohamed SHOE PHONE to call Gayle

Phil's nephew PORN star status ...


Did he really think about the consequence of going to the Media ?  :-\

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28 Sep 2015 13:37 #273000 by boquiesse

Not sure wha de hell you on about?

Who gives a rats ass about WI cricket. Maybe you not me.

I only back here enjoying de endless joke dat is WI cricket.

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28 Sep 2015 13:46 - 28 Sep 2015 13:51 #273001 by TRINIDADDY

Ramdin was bullied by Viv. Poor Ramdin was just minding his own business, not making any runs, when Viv violently criticised (some might say "raped") him in the media. What other choice did Ramdin have but to write a note for all to see?

Darren Bravo - a righteous, noble, upstanding Trini - was likewise forced to walk out on that last New Zealand test match, by sadistic, cruel, criminal net-bowling by Darren Sammy, possibly acting on orders from Dave Cameron.

This is insularity. Trinis can't help it if they're drama-queens and exhibitionists. The Caribbean community should accept Trinis for who they are. The current climate is such that Trinis feel afraid to speak and make sex tapes for fear of persecution. And Trinis like to speak. Non-stop. About everything. Endless, endless, Trini sh*t. Over and over and over...

If they accept playing for the new contracts, it doesn't really matter. I would personally still play either Pollard or Bravo on the ODI team, just for some experience. I'd like Paint there too as an opener. I'm willing to have Pollard and Bravo permanently knocked off the ODI team if it meant Narine, Bishoo, Rampaul or Permaul made it in.
Last edit: 28 Sep 2015 13:51 by TRINIDADDY.

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28 Sep 2015 14:16 #273005 by ketchim
I concur and having 2 half a trini children , I can personally attest it is a GENETIC disposition  ;)

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28 Sep 2015 14:28 #273006 by ketchim
“The West Indies Cricket Board has learnt of the comments from head coach of the West Indies team Phil Simmons

in the print and electronic media which appear to question the legitimacy of the selection process of the one-day

international squad for the tour of Sri Lanka. As a result, the management of the WICB has taken action to suspend

the head coach, pending an investigation into the issue.

The head coach will not now travel with the team on the tour of Sri Lanka.  :-\

trinidadexpress.com/20150928/sports/simmons-suspended

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28 Sep 2015 15:26 #273012 by The Captain
suspended with or with out pay

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28 Sep 2015 15:45 #273014 by dillinger10
Does anyone know how much Simmons' three-year contract is worth?

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