Former fast bowler Dean Headley recalls good and bad days with England

I never saw my surname as a burden. I think others may have done. It's the way I was brought up. I knew my heritage very early on but my dad made it very clear. He said: "You are who you are. You should go and play your game".

I got woken up in the West Indies after a night where I'd commiserated myself with a bit of Jack Daniel's. The media officer said, "Dean, the press guys want to do an interview with you." "What about?" "Well, Bumble's come out and said the reason why we lost the Test match was because of you and Caddick." I said, "Oh, that's good. And we haven't even had a team meeting yet…" So John Etheridge [of the Sun] was sat in a chair by the pool at the hotel, leading the questions. He's got a bit of a stutter, and I knew that every time he had to say something controversial he was going to stutter. He's gone, "So, h-h-have you got any comments?" "About what?" He said, "Well, erm, ob-obviously you lost the Test match." "Yeah, I know that." "And, erm, with Bumble…" "John, get to the point." "Well, Bumble's come out and said that you and Caddick were the reason England lost." I said, "Why do you think he came out and said that?" "Well," he said, "when we asked him he said you didn't bowl very well." And I went: "He's right. I didn't." "Have you got any m-more comments?" "Well, no. You've just told me the coach has said we lost the Test match because Headley and Caddick didn't bowl well. I can't answer for Caddick but I can certainly answer for me. I didn't play very well." End of interview. Caddick, on the other hand, said, "Well, I disagree with him. I think I only bowled four bad balls in the whole Test match."

I met my granddad a couple of times. I knew about him from books, from people. But I didn't live with the furore that went around him. I went to Jamaica when I was 18, 19, and it was on TV - me, visiting the island. Because of my contacts, I trained with the Jamaica squad: Jimmy Adams, Courtney Walsh, Dujon, Patrick Patterson. I'd play in a game and it would come on the news at night: "Jimmy Adams scored 102 over in Montego Bay, and Dean Headley is 3 not out." Surreal.