as I tell you I not in dat. I like downstairs.
man hear nuh..when I was a lil bwoy and deh take me port of spain I used to revel in the smells of the city. we used to land on George street and walk to wherever we going.
queen street, prince street, henry street..or we go east past the Dry River to Picadilly street... Mango Rose...where family used to live. is food smells of all kinds, a lot of fry food... roti, polori, egg sanwiches, chiney food... portions ah chow ming flowin', float an' akra, black pudden, souse and roas' pork.
and I doh know about you but we had little money so I was often hungry and thinking of food.
that is the Trinidad I come from, know and love bad bad..down in the streets... kaiso and pan, tassa and Hosay, Jouevert Morning, canboulay.
I have no interest at all in Titty high brow life, from middle all the way up. only corruption and hypocrisy dat is..anti-nationalist and nationalist betrayal. an' I grew up on the outside anyway, a low material level dat you have to fight yuh way out of or die on the streets. and on top of dat I was maverick and did not know it or understand what it meant.
I had a mind of my own yuh see..and I was bright and independent minded and deh made me pay.
exactly where I thought I was right and good deh made me pay.
so I was on my own and beaten down ...by everyone, espcially a few teachers of mine. deh called me crazy..dat I read too much and I would go nuts.
so I wallowed in the things I loved about the life like I listed above..Kaiso and carnival, pan, cricket..books. I read every book I got a-hold of...the general life around me that fascinated me man..the culture, the food..but I hated injustice, prejudice, advantage. I fought all the time
and of course the racism of Trinidad..one of the most racist places, and unfairly advantageous and unjustified places on earth, Trinidad...prejudice of all sorts and from all directions, with a level of sophistication that can defeat even the keenest intellect.
as James said you have to be careful to know when you are being excluded or you will end up real embarrassed.
Racism and corruption, bobol, class prejudice big time! that is Trinidad..a terrifically complex lil place. a brutal, savage, socially unsympathetic place despite all the gregariousness of the people. Trinnys are fun loving but that smiling face hides a social savagery that I am confident is as awful as any other socially comparable location globally
so on a festival days, a day of cricket for eg., the food was a significant attraction. I used to save up my pennies to get a shot at some when I had a chance. and the decision was always a hard choice. I had one shot..one half of a shot...and it usually came down to fresh akra and float.. or polori with mango sauce
I really have no interest in upper class Trinny life. my intent was, if I could, or if I ever got a chance.. to upend that society, overturn it, make it horizontal or burn it to the ground.
but enjoy your Trinny man..be served if dat is what you like.
when I arrive at the Oval the smell of the vendors food reminds of my childhood days and thrills my soul still...the memory of the small spaces and moments that were good, pleasurable. its like carnival Sunday night excitement that literally made a small soul like mine speechless in anticipation..the calypso king contest especially.
I will die with those memories in my heart and mind.
the members stand can wait. I want to walk around the grounds of the QPO when I get there..just walk man. I want to find the exact spot in the north stand from whence I saw Kanhai hook David Brown for 44444 in 1968, the flash of his bats' blade glinting in the evening sunlight like I had read in the books on english cricket, of glorious summer play in day long sunshine.
that spot is prolly not there any more, gone in the remodelling since then.
ah boy! yuh doh know. that is what I live for..those good parts and the sweetness I experience when actuality coincides and rekindles memory. when I was in Titty last time I walked the old paths, took the old taxi routes, taxied around trinidad... went south, San Fernando...then took taxis to deep south..went east north and west...
anyhow, meet me down in the stands..that's where I will be on whatever seating is available. it used to be hard concrete back in the day. if it still is you will prolly find me standing up. my barty cyant take concrete for more than a few minutes any more :-[
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