The Anti-Joke

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Dave.
Dave who?







Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park.


A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink.

"Long day?" the bartender asks.

"No, all days are 24 hours long" the man replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is.


Why did the blond get fired from the M&M factory?

Repeated absences and stealing.


Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.



What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A horrible boating accident.



What do you call a black guy driving a plane?
A pilot.



A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired" Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.


A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. Bars serve people of all religions.



Why do christians believe in God?
Because believing in God is fundemental in their belief system; if they did not believe in God they simply wouldn't be christians. Muslims are in a similar predicament.



What do you get when you cross a duck and a pig? A media circus that focuses on the morals and ethics of genetic engineering.