1st Test, Rawalpindi, December 01 - 05, 2022

Are you not entertained? England were on their knees 24 hours ago, as a sickness bug decimated the camp... but they've come out and turned it up to the Maximus Decimus Meridius on a crazy day in Pindi. Never before has a team scored 500 on the first day of a Test, never before have they had four centurions. Zak Crawley's 86-ball ton was joint-fourth on the England list... until Harry Brook surpassed him with an 80-ball knock; Brook and Ben Duckett both scored their maiden hundreds, Crawley and Ollie Pope their third in Tests. Zahid Mahmood (2 for 160) also brought up a gallon, along with his maiden Test wickets, and only Naseem Shah managed to go at less than six an over as an inexperienced Pakistan attack struggled. Perhaps most surprising of all, Joe Root was the only batter to fail. Anyway, this Test was in doubt until a few hours before the toss, but has well and truly got its donk on

Just over 24 hours ago, England put out their starting eleven for the first Test, to general amusement from just about everyone who follows red-ball cricket in Pakistan. The idea of a bowling attack comprising Ollie Robinson, Jack Leach, a 40-year old James Anderson, and Ben Stokes as the fourth seamer was deemed so light as to be tactically naïve.

Liam Livingstone at eight? Harry Brook in the Test squad? What were England playing at, thinking they could play Bazball in Pakistan?

If I was a bowler in Pakistan team today I would of faked an injury, or say I have the runs, or a bug . Just to not bowl lol .

BREAKING: Harry Brook breaks his own record that he set yesterday for the most runs scored in a Test over by an English batter. He takes 27 off one Zahid Mahmood over.

England are playing Test cricket differently to the rest.

The Rawalpindi pitch earlier in the year – where 14 wickets fell across five days – was only deemed 'below average', so it was only handed one demerit point.

It takes five of those in a five-year period for a venue to be banned for a year.

Pitch sanctions are not strict enough

Very large financial bonuses should be available for bowlers taking any wickets at Rawalpindi.