Following a bitter coup, a TRINIDADIAN CHAIRMAN seizes control of the West Indies Cricket Board...
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TRINI CHAIRMAN: Fellas, I in charge now. First order of business: if you don't want to tour Guyana, don't tour. Nobody forcing you.
BRAVO: But chief, you promise to still pay we?
TRINI CHAIRMAN: Man, stop hassling me about money. Here, take my credit card and take what yuh need.
BRAVO: Oh, thank you boss Trini!
NARINE: What about me, boss?
TRINI CHAIRMAN: What about you, Sonny?
NARINE: I could go IPL, boss? Please let me go IPL.
TRINI CHAIRMAN: Woman, do what yuh want and stop bothering me.
NARINE: Oh thank you boss, thank you!
POLLARD: How about me, bossman? Will you let me back on the team?
TRINI CHAIRMAN: Auto-picks for all me Trini bredrin'. Everyone else, first come, first serve.
HOLDER: But Mister Chairman, that's unfair!
TRINI CHAIRMAN: Wah Wah Wah!
HOLDER: Bur sir-
TRINI CHAIRMAN: Wah Wah Wah!
HOLDER: But-
TRINI CHAIRMAN: Listen people, if you don't like how I run things, I accept all bribes over 500 dollars. TT money only.
HOLDER: That's outrageous!
TRINI CHAIRMAN: 600!
HOLDER: Sir!
TRINI CHAIRMAN: 900!
KRAIGG: Sorry for interrupting, sir, but am I still vice captain of the Test team?
TRINI CHAIRMAN: *steups* Man, work them details out yourselves. What, I look Guyanese?
Chris Gayle walks into the room.
GAYLE: Wagwan? Me and meself 'ere to talk money with me man Dave Cameron.
BRAVO: Cameron's been replaced, Chris. Trinis running the show now.
GAYLE: Oh laaard.
Gayle exits the room. On his way out he passes a group of journalists.
JOURNALISTS: Trini Chairman! Trini Chairman! How do you plan to get West Indies back up the ICC rankings!?
TRINI CHAIRMAN: Easy. We starting our own rankings with us ranked as number 1.
JOURNALISTS: But the ICC will not accept this.
TRINI CHAIRMAN: The ICC can kiss my Trini ass. Starting today we starting the TITS: the Trinidad Institute of Transnational Sports. A global sporting body with me in charge.
JOURNALISTS: That sounds like a lot of work.
TRINI CHAIRMAN: Who says it gonna work?
JOURNALISTS: With all due respect, your lackadaisical governing style is cause for concern.
TRINI CHAIRMAN: What's the point being chairman of the TITS if yuh can't sit on your ass?
JOURNALISTS: But Chairman-
TRINI CHAIRMAN: Listen, I done asking questions. I gonna take a little nap.
JOURNALISTS: But -
TRINI CHAIRMAN: Wake me up if someone getting close to Lara record.