TRINIDADDY: Fellas, who you think is more useless: Dwayne, Darren, Samuels, Gayle, Sammy, Pollard or Smith?
MAIL: All of them are a bunch of useless cowlashers, except maybe Darren
TRINIDADDY: Darren aint useless?
MAIL: The man have no on-side game and is a sensitive drama queen...
TRINIDADDY: true
MAIL: ...but he can bat
TRINIDADDY: What about Chanders? You think Chanders useless?
MAIL: Chanderpaul is the greatest Guyanese batsman, the best current West Indian batsmen in Test and ODI formats, and is a global, all time great.
TRINIDADDY: That is racism and insularity!
MAIL: But I am Trinidadian and Chanders is Guyanese, how is that racism?
TRINIDADDY: Because by exalting Chanders you are degrading his West Indian contemporaries!
MAIL: But they degrading themselves by batting like epileptic a**holes!
KETCHIM: Trinidaddy, Mail talking truth. Chanders is a great batsman
KWAMI: And his instagram is full of informative photographs of Guyanese mountain goats.
KETCHIM: True that
TRINIDADDY: Are you guys saying that considering Chanderpaul to be a great batsman does not constitute an insult towards West Indies players of other regional origins?
KWAMI: No Trinidaddy. Not at all.
TRINIDADY: Wow. Thanks for educating me, guys. What a stupid Trini I am.
KWAMI: HAHHAHA. Yes.
KETCHIM: Heee Hee. Silly Trinies.
MAIL: Hahaha, we Trinis so silly.
TRINIDADDY: But fellas, which West Indian nation do you think has produced the most great players?
MAIL: Hmmm, that's a tough one.
KETCHIM: Guyana obviously
KWAMI: Guyana
MAIL: Well, Guyana certainly produced more than Trinidad
TRINIDADDY: How so?
MAIL: Well, there's Chanders, Croft, Fredericks, Gibbs, Harper, Kalllicharran, Kanhai, Lloyd, Walcott...
TRINIDADDY: What about Hooper?
MAIL: Don't make me laugh
KWAMI: Hooper is an aesthetic great. But the point is, Trini, Guyana probably produced more greats than anywhere else. Certainly more than Trinidad
TRINIDADDY: But that is racist and insular!
KWAMI: How is that racist and insular? That is a statistical fact.
TRINIDADDY: So are you guys saying that considering Guyana to have produced more great cricketers than most other West Indian nations does not constitute an insult towards other West Indies regions?
KWAMI: No Trinidaddy. Not at all.
TRINIDADY: Wow. Thank you for educating me. What a stupid Trini I am.
KETCHIM: Heee Hee. Silly Trinies.
KWAMI: borderline retarded
KETCHIM: Man have Downs Syndrome
TRINIDADDY: But fellas, which West Indian do you think has the best English Country cricket record?
MAIL: Viv, Kanhai, or Lara probably. Lara has the 501 and eight or nine centuries in a season, and all three dominated at that level.
KETCHIM: What about Shiv in the 2008 County Championship and the 2007 Friends Provident Trophy? I wonder what his strike rate was.
MAIL: Here's some weblinks to those games. Even though he was ICC Test player of the year, he was pretty poor on the 2008 county circuit.
KETCHIM: Well his county teams certainly wanted him back, and were full of praise and gratitude toward him...
MAIL: I know, I wasn't passing judgement, I was just posting some links because you were wondering his strike rate-
KETCHIM: Damn Trinis always looking to bring a man down
KWAMI: They have nothing good to say
MAIL: I wasn't saying anything bad
KWAMI: Then shut your mouth
MAIL: What the hell, you asked me what his strike rate was
KETCHIM: So strike rate is all that matters now?
MAIL: No, I just saying-
KETCHIM: Nobody else on the team can bat, but you picking on poor Chanders strike rate?
MAIL: I not picking on anybody, I just saying-
KETCHIM: Everybody making duck and throwing away their wicket, and you Trini's picking on Chanders! Typical Trinis!
KWAMI: Bunch of insular racists!
KETCHIM: Them Trini just jealous because Shiv going to take the most runs record from their Trini God!
MAIL: But Tendulkar has that record-
KETCHIM: They supporting an Indian foreigner instead of Shiv? You can belive this? Typical insular racists
MAIL: What the hell?
KETCHIM: Them damn Trinis and their oil!
KWAMI: Damn Trinis!
KETCHIM: Half that oil they stealing from Venezuela!
KWAMI: Damn Venezuelans!
KETCHIM: Always trying to undermine Chanders!
KWAMI: Underminers!
KETCHIM: I wouldn't be surprised if Otis was a Trini!
KWAMI: Damn Trini Otis!
TRINIDADDY: Wait...are you guys saying that considering Chanderpaul to have a slow strike rate constitutes an insult toward, not only Chanderpual, but all of Guyana?
KETCHIM: Damn straight
KWAMI: Exactly
TRINIDADY: Wow. Thank you for educating me. What a stupid Trini I am.
MAIL: *sigh*