[center]![[Image: dave_cameron.jpg]](http://s21.postimg.org/q9sjfrhl3/dave_cameron.jpg)
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[size=14pt]WICB director Dave Cameron sits down at a large desk. He is surrounded by Richard Pybus, coach Philip Simmons and chief selector Clive Lloyd.
CAMERON: Fellas, our tour of Sri Lanka starts in a few days. Historically, I like to start every tour with a new bit of incompetent management, but I think I starting to run out of ideas.
CLIVE LLOYD: Well, we could try walking out on the Sri Lankan tour.
CAMERON: Nah, that's not surprising enough. The fans want something fresh!
CLIVE LLOYD: We could fire a senior player from the tour without informing him in advance.
CAMERON: Nah, we already used that trick on Chanders and Gayle.
CLIVE LLOYD: We can promote an inexperienced player to captain and then fire seasoned players from the squads.
CAMERON: Again? People want surprises, not repetitions of our last English and South African tours!
CLIVE LLOYD: How about trying Dwayne Smith again?
CAMERON: Been there, done that.
CLIVE LLOYD: We can try selecting known incompetent bowlers like we did at the last World Cup.
CAMERON: Lloyd, stop being an idiot. The fans want surprises! They want new levels of incompetency! We can't keep doing the same old sh*t. We need new sh*t! Dammit man, we need new sh*t!
CLIVE LLOYD: Well, we can bring back Devon Smith-
CAMERON: New sh*t!
SIMMONS: Fellas, I been talking to Lloyd behind your backs, and we both think it's time to bring Bravo and Pollard back into the ODI team-
CAMERON: Those two idiots are banned from West Indies cricket!
SIMMONS: But you still have them on the T20 team.
CAMERON: T20 cricket ain't real cricket; that's the only place those two clowns belong.
SIMMONS: Give me one of them at least. The current ODI team has no batting experience .
CAMERON: Never!
SIMMONS: But I'm a Trini. I should have a larger say in player selection!
CAMERON: Kiss my ass, Trini-boy. I am DAVE CAMERON, SUPREME OVERLORD OF WEST INDIES CRICKET! YOU WILL OBEY ME!
SIMMONS: If I don't get my way I'll start whining to the media.
CAMERON: Go on, talk to them, I can't look any worse.
SIMMONS: You've forced my hand.
CAMERON: And you've forced mine; I'm firing your ass.
SIMMONS: Fine!
CAMERON: Fine!
LLOYD: Uh, fellas, we already owe India about 50 million dollars.
CAMERON: So?
LLOYD: So our coaching contracts stipulate that our coaches must nevertheless be paid if they are prematurely fired and/or suspended. We fired Otis Gibson several months ago and are still paying him thousands of dollars a month for work he is not doing for us. Do you know what this means?
PYBUS: That working as a West Indies cricket coach is one of the best gigs in the world!?
LLOYD: No. It means that if we fire Simmons, we will be the only cricket team in the history of the sport to simultaneously pay two cricket coaches not to turn up.
CAMERON: Lloyd my man, you are a genius!
LLOYD: Huh?
CAMERON: Simmons, you're fired. History books, here we come again.
LLOYD: God dammit Cameron.
CAMERON: Like a boss.[/size]
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![[Image: dave_cameron.jpg]](http://s21.postimg.org/q9sjfrhl3/dave_cameron.jpg)
[/center]
[size=14pt]WICB director Dave Cameron sits down at a large desk. He is surrounded by Richard Pybus, coach Philip Simmons and chief selector Clive Lloyd.
CAMERON: Fellas, our tour of Sri Lanka starts in a few days. Historically, I like to start every tour with a new bit of incompetent management, but I think I starting to run out of ideas.
CLIVE LLOYD: Well, we could try walking out on the Sri Lankan tour.
CAMERON: Nah, that's not surprising enough. The fans want something fresh!
CLIVE LLOYD: We could fire a senior player from the tour without informing him in advance.
CAMERON: Nah, we already used that trick on Chanders and Gayle.
CLIVE LLOYD: We can promote an inexperienced player to captain and then fire seasoned players from the squads.
CAMERON: Again? People want surprises, not repetitions of our last English and South African tours!
CLIVE LLOYD: How about trying Dwayne Smith again?
CAMERON: Been there, done that.
CLIVE LLOYD: We can try selecting known incompetent bowlers like we did at the last World Cup.
CAMERON: Lloyd, stop being an idiot. The fans want surprises! They want new levels of incompetency! We can't keep doing the same old sh*t. We need new sh*t! Dammit man, we need new sh*t!
CLIVE LLOYD: Well, we can bring back Devon Smith-
CAMERON: New sh*t!
SIMMONS: Fellas, I been talking to Lloyd behind your backs, and we both think it's time to bring Bravo and Pollard back into the ODI team-
CAMERON: Those two idiots are banned from West Indies cricket!
SIMMONS: But you still have them on the T20 team.
CAMERON: T20 cricket ain't real cricket; that's the only place those two clowns belong.
SIMMONS: Give me one of them at least. The current ODI team has no batting experience .
CAMERON: Never!
SIMMONS: But I'm a Trini. I should have a larger say in player selection!
CAMERON: Kiss my ass, Trini-boy. I am DAVE CAMERON, SUPREME OVERLORD OF WEST INDIES CRICKET! YOU WILL OBEY ME!
SIMMONS: If I don't get my way I'll start whining to the media.
CAMERON: Go on, talk to them, I can't look any worse.
SIMMONS: You've forced my hand.
CAMERON: And you've forced mine; I'm firing your ass.
SIMMONS: Fine!
CAMERON: Fine!
LLOYD: Uh, fellas, we already owe India about 50 million dollars.
CAMERON: So?
LLOYD: So our coaching contracts stipulate that our coaches must nevertheless be paid if they are prematurely fired and/or suspended. We fired Otis Gibson several months ago and are still paying him thousands of dollars a month for work he is not doing for us. Do you know what this means?
PYBUS: That working as a West Indies cricket coach is one of the best gigs in the world!?
LLOYD: No. It means that if we fire Simmons, we will be the only cricket team in the history of the sport to simultaneously pay two cricket coaches not to turn up.
CAMERON: Lloyd my man, you are a genius!
LLOYD: Huh?
CAMERON: Simmons, you're fired. History books, here we come again.
LLOYD: God dammit Cameron.
CAMERON: Like a boss.[/size]
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