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+--- Thread: I want to cry (/thread-41599.html)
I want to cry - mapoui - 05-23-2019
I am a Nigger, Nig Nog, Swatza, Coon..the worse, and I am supposed to be the worst, an animal, savage. and I want to cry, lord know I want to cry, total, tears free flowing, absolutely cry with no limits, no worry about my tears. fuck the world! let the world kiss my Black arse but I want to cry and I cant cry. the freeing tears I want to wash in wont come to exhaust me, melt me, reintegrate me
but I love the world and all in it. I have no reason to because the world has nothing for me but gave me life, a life I did not ask for. my life was not my choice, life was not my choice. nature that arbitrary woman just gave it. she is a bitch with the face of an angel and the soul of a shape shifter. she made heaven just out of reach and hell in between. and there are no guarantees
feelings, emotions: love, hate, pain..disappointment, betrayal, harms that happen to you and harms you cause, that you give. I hurt and I hurt in return and my guilty conscience cannot stand the hurt I caused. I made myself live when I wanted to die...die die and be done. I god I want o cry...please let me cry, cry free, to release myself, to erase, to go back and start again with the knowledge of a life time, a new chance to revolutionize he world or die trying
life becomes too precious, the life I did not ask for. one holds life and compromises oneself. compromise is a sin..diplomacy a great tool in the positive...but no compromise when it matters..none! nada!
fuck the world and things. fuck things..all of it. you can eat only so much, wear likewise. it is to live and come to know life, the universe and make of it what we can. one must die with nothing having lived..the test of life, to leave as you came in with nothing to pack and fold and store and put away, make safe and hoard and carry. the secret is to leave free and unencumbered.
I give up..finally I want nothing at all, not even to live again, no goal, no desires. all I want to do is to cry one last time, an expiation, tears for all I have known and lived. cry for sins, for love in all its forms, for the world, humans, hate of humans, love of humans, for life, death....cry because of ignorance all around?
cry because finally I too don't know a dam thing! nothing!
I don't know but I hurt and I cant cry and be free. at least the heavens can relent and let me cry. I would give all I have if I can cry for the loves of my life, my children, for my own wrongs and pain I caused, for the pain I suffered I learned not to cry. I used to cry but I am a man and natural I learned not to cry, I wasn't supposed to as a man. I leaned too well, matured, lost my ability to generate water.. salty, tasty water that dried on my face and tightened up
I love Alicia keys, and Chaka, and Phyllis..the women, the Bitches and Goddesses,SHE..she who is life! sweet but horrific too. She takes me outside of the life, helps me to touch the universe with her sounds, she travels and takes me with her. I cant get enough of her, all of her. I love her, She. I love her young I love her old, in the miggle. she hurt me badly. I hurt her too but SHE wins in the end..no contest. She is god! she is everything, all there is..the source and fount. in her I found myself, find myself. without her there is no identity, no me, no nothing.
I stopped struggling and worship now, at her feet, at her source and fount of life. SHE is god and I did not know. Blind and ignorant I did not know that as man I had to love unconditionally, cherish, protect, hone....
I know now and I need to cry!
Alicia makes me cry as she touches heaven, gives me an intimation of forever with her sound. that is what SHE does! SHE takes you and helps you to touch the sky, gives you a sens of what forever is like. not enough you must come back: grounded to wait again for another touch, more..until forever comes to claim you..and you are there with her...forever?
she has been on my mind. SHE! she does not know who she is..she just be, is, existent, here doing her powerful thing..God
I want to cry - mapoui - 05-23-2019
SHE too...god
Quote:Hey sister
I never knew which way to go
Everybody had an answer
So I said
Go lecture someone, go lecture someone
I could feel it in my heart babe
I couldn't scream, I couldn't shout
I had to find out in my own way
Ran into someone - ran into someone
I'll be the woman I am
Now I don't have to hide
All that I feel inside
I'll be the woman I am
Just had to let it show
Had nowhere else to go
I had to learn to trust myself
I had to learn just when to say no
Always trying to please someone else
I had to let go, I had to let go
The world is filled of many wonders
I had to look to heaven for my own
I saw the star that I was unter
Lord lead me back home, lead me back home
I'll be the woman I am
Now I don't have to hide
All that I feel inside
I'll be the woman I am
Just had to let it show
Had nowhere else to go
I can look at myself and I'm not afraid
I have finally learned how to love
I can feel everything that I've never felt
And I'm sure now that I've always known
I want to cry - mapoui - 05-23-2019
This what She does to us. when She cries,when SHE is done where does one turn, or go! Surrender is all. we must come to see surrender for what it is..heaven.
When God calls this way its over
Quote:[Verse 1:]
Last night, I cried, tossed and turned
Woke up with dry eyes
My mind was racing
Feet were pacing
Lord, help me please
Tell me what I have gotten into
Ran my three miles to clear my mind
It always helps me out
It's my therapy
When I'm losing it which is usually
[Chorus:]
I'm on a emotional rollercoaster
Loving you ain't nothing healthy
Loving you was never good for me
But I can't get off
It's emotional rollercoaster
Loving you ain't nothing healthy
Loving you was never good for me (for me)
But I can't get off
[Verse 2:]
Yesterday, I told myself
I was gonna be okay
Gonna start a new day
Be truly happy
I was gonna take control of me
But eventually reality hit me
Mentally, physically, emotionally
And I opened my eyes and realized
That I was still being
Taken for a constant ride on your
[Repeat Chorus:]
[Bridge:]
So tired of you making love to me
Then disappearing so suddenly
Up and down it goes
And I'm so tired of you pacifying me
With promises you know
That you'll never keep
Round and round it goes
I want to cry - chairman - 05-23-2019
Don't cry
I want to cry - ketchim - 05-24-2019
I cry over spilt milk ~
I want to cry - mapoui - 05-24-2019
I cant cry at all. the thing is to cry it away..to cry and cry, break dong the dam and let the watuh flow..and be free :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:
I want to cry - mapoui - 05-24-2019
the fact is today, this mawnin' the sun is up..high in the sky, and really bright, blazing off the emerald spring green and high brown..lots of spring brown.
its a good day indeed, right now. I cant cry but I can clean my apartment, make it shine and smell it up with perfume scents
nutten like a fresh bed to sleep in at night
I want to cry - ketchim - 05-24-2019
nothing beats the scent of a woman in that fresh bed
under freshly laundered sheets !